Throwback to the days…

I start with the video for once. Since it’s the music that brought me in the mood to write tonight I might as well do it. Listening it made me wonder about long lost falling stars and made me need with fervor a good rock concert here in Paris. It’s been a long time now, with the pandemic and the confinement that I could not freely wonder on the streets, less hear some good bass somewhere. Isolation makes you think, in the beginning, than starts slowly but certainly get to you. Did I turn mad because of this virus killing people? No. Well no yet, but if we need to go back in our little cell I might as well go forever….

The need I’ve never had, to go into a pub a sip a beer or even better a good glass of red wine and listen to the noise, the music, the whirlwind of voices coming from people I don’t know and never will and maybe, just maybe someone I might get to know. Let’s be honest here: life is not made for staying put but for wandering in the society, feeling the living, the sap of the movement, the fever, the brutality, the excitement… you get the idea. All work and no fun makes Jack a dull boy. Because, again, for how long can you decorate your one-room awfully expensive Parisian apartment? There is quite a limited number of items you can replace: garbage can, flower pot, light bulbs – there is a few of them, wine glasses, champagne glasses, get some glasses for doing shots. There is an alcoholic themed buyers guide out there somewhere because frankly I’ve never had so many different sets of glasses and types of 18+ beverages in that big kitchen drawer next to the window. And the view from the 26th floor gets even better after a couple of Tequila shots, right?

Continue reading

Atomic dreams

…in the water I need wine
pour it red as viscous blood,
pills to swallow for the hollow people,
I am one, too hurt of follow…

my arms are roots that seek salvation
in the cold, the dirt, the mixture
in the mirrors,
how could be an ugly Sun a king forever
in the winter of my mind
frozen are the leafs and frozen all belief
I linger
sculptured in the paintings from another time,
remember
burning in the skin when pressured
and visions of a thousands skies with stars that move so fast together
I have seen, was not alone
a heavy head raining glimpse and thoughts…

driving west to Paris at the wheel of riot hearts
with atomic dreams in black and white
and shadows always close behind,
I struggle…
in the horizon of my founding self I wander as a fallen light
spinning chaos in the deepest dark,
moments to the dawn when the journey did begin…

Saturday mornings

Saturday mornings are good for writing. They release a scent of leaving behind a week of work in The Machine and finally having time to relax, to enjoy my coffee while listening to some old tavern jazz form a guy with a name I won’t remember in the afternoon. I love as well the silence that comes with it, the faint buzzing of the outside world as heard form a 26th floor of a Parisian building, the semi-obscurity of the room due to long blood-red drapes and the closed window rolls that don’t actually cover the last two squares near the coffee grinder by the kitchen. The inside is a modern mixture of old, of functional and some IKEA, with french shadows and German linings and an eastern-Europe Greek Orthodox accent embodied in the icon of the Virgin Mary with Child throning on the wall, right from the entrance. I always wanted a wooden floor and when finally found one, I put a fat blue rug right on the middle next to the sofa covered in white, gray and black squared plush. The refrigerator stands white and tall, and mostly silent, humming its tune in a duet with the English radio on its top next by the 6.99€ plant bought form a shady LIDL nearby. The wooden basket used for garbage sits on the other side of the fridge, hidden form the room, next to the sink, cooking table, oven and anything one could wish for a kitchen in a 33sqmt Paris studio flat. A magnet with a housewife flexing her biceps and spelling “We Can Do It”, sticked onto the white large front of the fridge seems awfully out of place, like a hint of putrid Americanism as that one cactus I had to throw in the bin of the three I got as a new home present from a couple of friends visiting from out of town. The darts game hanged not far, sleeps gathering dust since two or three days after stumbling upon it in a shop outside of Paris and thinking it would be a great idea of an activity during the first confinement. And there is that red cat collar with a golden bell from a chocolate Easter bunny that would ended up as decoration, never to be actually eaten, and now pended form the handle of the right upper kitchen shelf. One last slice of baked pumpkin, half an almond bread and traces of coffee and maybe spices spread near the electric cooker added an ordinary and domestic touch to the scene.

There is a calming loneliness laying all around, emanating from the static, dead nature, shy like a virgin teacher, kindly asking to be disturbed in a warm and joyful manner…

Life Oddity

I wrote an epistle to Father,
sung my sweetest lullaby
I checked the engine for another thousand times
no thing left to one’s imagination,
life’s a crumble made with salt
spice may never alter paths sculpted on the dunes,
the oasis nowhere to be seen
but in my most futile dream, so far away…
charge your paddles up to fifty-eight
stay clear!
lazy hearts may never feel and walls are going up forever
stairways takes your steps to last and cruel judge,
I held your hands,
I tried to catch the butterfly that went away
and then the stillness comes leaving but the story to be told
and my spirit gets so old,
my heart a stone
gone,
you left me all alone,
only darkness at the dawn….

Armistice (II)

Sixty years it took for glory
walked past and jumped the queue
like craving sold by drugsters
love burns but you never do…

***

coffee no sugar and Billie Holiday for this cold little heart
“when you’re smiling, the whole world smiles with you…”
baked pumpkin from last night and salty seeds,
I wander still
will you sing Hallelujah?
or let my wishing lean…

***

“On The Road” today
ran from Denver east back home,
the story tells

***

Happy anniversary!
(…)
N.B. Don’t forget, the cake

November’s 5

1. The Killers – My Own Soul’s Warning


2. Matt Berninger – One More Second


3. Bruce Springsteen – Janey Need A Shooter


4. The Rolling Stones – Love Is Strong


5. Jayomi – Remember


BONUS: Neil Young & Crazy Horse – Be The Rain