Category Archives: I Killed The Hamster

The Breaker

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I am the darkness, I am the world
this is the suffering, do as you’re told
you have no choice,
it’s beyond control
in this dungeon, in the cold
this is where it takes your soul
immortal life from the above
you’ve been dreaming since day one…

I am the silence, I am the wreak
in this longing there is no break
there’s no fire for them to see
your eyes are filled with misery,
no equation, no chemistry
love’s a lie and so is she
shadow covered memories
you broke it all and you can’t feel…

I am the fate, the voice of reason
calling your name in this prison
stretch your arms,
break the machine
give your mind an atomic spin,
chase your devils, loose your hounds
I am fire, I am the blood
when I seek I never hold
never do as you were told!

For I am the voice, I am the rage
that never screams when out of stage,
I am the heat, I am the heart
I am the beat and the savage night,
thoughtful king and cruel master
a monster ride on a purple kite,
a beast of many sorts
I am the pure glorious life…

Premonition

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I can read this future in your fears
and my coffee crystal is in tears
I can see this path going nowhere
so why the forcing, lies and fairy tales?
coming home has been so cruel
nice guys never win yet always duel…

Baby I just had enough!
You say fine, I say get off
Baby I just had enough!
But I love you, will you cut a slack…

I can’t read my future in your eyes
I never care to look I do know why
cute and humble she’d make fine
a choice I made when feeling down
and so making plans will always fail
unless we buy a ticket straight to hell!

Baby I just had enough!
You say fine, I say get out
Baby I just had enough!
Cut Madonna here some slack…or NOT!

No other way

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White Spider by Vindictus Art Gallery – https://www.pinterest.fr/pin/571323902708964885/

I pray to my Lord
to wake up one day and say to myself “there is no other way”
I’ve been weak
I have been Disturbed
listened to bad rock for my father’s good luck…
I am The Beast,
a giant crawler coming from East
invading the west with desire to nest
with no responsible fashion I invoke good tension, in your bones –
scream
moan
take what you want dearest Simone
you filthy loyal lovable whore
you turn my life into porn gore,
with the head in the sand it is you that’s going to bend
my precious doll,
I have no soul, you took it from me
drinking your poison set me free
let me be, touch and see, the garden of Eden is not for me
I must suffer, must endure –
Be my inspiration
late night vision and dark temptation
ignite my fire, give me wine and call me “Sire” in the Church and in my tower
make me devour
You!
kneel before me and take me good
like only true lovers should
I long to feel The Need, to drop a tear
before I paint your body with white smear,
give me children give me life,
transform me sweeter, help me be born twice,
for in the desert with no joy
you are my future where I am your toy
to play a new note on a tight chord,
exposing disaster
go faster
show me love’s wicked drug, exploit my desire
never tired
“there is no other way”…

Seven nation

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White shirts, pink shirts, blue shirts, neat shirts
derbies and the black pressed underpants
shave that beard and loose the longhair
cut on bubbles after hours, have martini
mother wants you home by ten
is this what you’ve meant?
waking up at seven, going in at eight
cigarette at midday splitting up the day
working in an office posing as a clerk
serving for the country in the kindest way
communism negation in a socialistic nation
is this what you’ve meant?
is this what you’ve meant?

got a girl that’s dressed in leather
watches Oprah, thinks she’s clever
at the shop she cleaned a headgear
feeds the beaver, pushed a lever
she looks stunning like a badger
is this what you’ve meant?
like a chef she cooks a rabbit
that looked dead before you had it
goes to church one year in seven
wants some kids but cats are glaring
and the bourbon says she’s had it
is this what you’ve meant?
is this what you’ve meant?

having taught you scored a shiny diamond
you have gained blue painted marbles
growing heavier by the hour, you’re in pain…
friends you’ve left in ivy leagues knew better
worthy is the patience to inherit and not gather
is this what you’ve meant?
nation ranked eleven on a scale from one to heaven
perfection by the books based on telling how they look
down to earth the greatest fear is to see but not to hear,
honeybees are used to follow even when the queen is hollow
colored yellow, scented sweet, break your back…
is this what you’ve meant?
is this what you’ve meant?

is this what you’ve meant?
is this what you’ve meant?
break that glass…
is this what you’ve meant?
shove it up that ass…
is this what you’ve meant?

now is that what you’ve meant?

Did you

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We have died some time ago
it’s been years I have known
but my fears got the best of me
I couldn’t tell a living soul
that my loving went off the boil,
burn, burn, burn
something must’ve really turned…

Did you feel from the start?
Did you know I’ll break your heart?
Did you?

Our story is built on lies
feeling lonely makes one try
this charade was truly fine
up until tomorrow’s night,
something,
something really must’ve broke
that wasn’t there all along…

Did you question it at all?
Did you sense the pain to come?
Did you?
Did you…
Did you now?

It was rotten form the heart
nothing good was there to start
gave me all I didn’t ask
way to early way to fast, in the dark,
lost it’s spark,
you have loved me in the dark
when I’m a built and fed on light…

Did you…
Did you think it would last?
Did you,
Did you think you were the one?
Did you…
Did you?

St John

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I’ve left ashes on the counter as your image through the smoke
and the whisky bottle never empties in the shadow of our Lord
dance is twisted moving close
music falls like icy rains
steps are down and up they go
glasses sleeping on the floor
yet the rainbows lack to come…
I have seen her in the crowds young and never losing ground
with a storm front in the eyes and the thunder down her thighs
running faster than the thought
brings my heart beating delight
bruises on the southern peak
kissed my cheeks with burning hips
yet the colors have left home…
Then the water turned to wine just before the St John’s time
and the devil made me drink from this bottle for a while…

Remember

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Doubts and dreams and dragons
blurred all things we did together
how come I do not remember
what made me ask you out,
was it cream or was it sugar
in the very first cup of coffee
was it good or was it crappy
on the street or after pancakes,
sympathy or desperation
I still search my inspiration
if there was a single thing
I have found to make me cling
how come I do not remember
was it May or in December,
did we take a trip to Spain
booked a train or airplane
simple things we used to say
and the days we’ll celebrate
what’s your flower did I know
yellow dress or bleu ciel,
is it lost or wasn’t there
what’s the color of your hair,
did I really see your eyes
or drank soda telling lies,
and the songs I used to play
did you like or did you fake,
how come I do not remember
was it sand or was it pebbles
did we swim or did we slander
what it feels to be together,
were I sleeping or awake
something’s off, did it break
and I’m trying to remember
what I loved in late November…

Third trip to Lisbon

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The map is painted
red dust, blue dust and dusty imagination,
over borders that are closed
we cross boundaries erected for the folk
going around the shitty bistro by the side of the square
we find pleasure in a convent struck by the truth,
breathing in deep the elevator takes you high in the sky
it wasn’t green tea in that cup of wine
and under the sword of the King of whites
you take a step to freshen your calves…

Restage a photo on the tower of stone
with pillars of truth to wash out the lies
my hair has grown long so I am feeling no cold
the eyes are sad and that’s just too bad,
for we sail on a trail of perversion
down from the castle to the turn of the whore
her music enthralls with thirst like a goal
and chasing on dreams doesn’t stop the fall
it’s like a drug from The Book of Kerouac
another story to sell on the brink of a war…

We owned a dog and a cat with no name
in a suburb house that collapsed from the shame
and it took some time to bury its heart
deep in my chest where it always belonged,
with my last ticket I booked on a feeling
the tram 28 took me far in the wild
to battle resistance from the unknown
in Lisbon I am a giant of stone
and on the backside of my left arm I tattooed the sun
to remember the light where there is none…