Cozy Stupor

In a cup of precious crystal I have poured the cozy stupor
scarlet waves washing sorrows like blinds in winter cabin keep the cold outside
and words have built a wall to hide the scattered drops of poppies in the fields,
I am frozen in the melting sun I used so long for cover but my pocket is full of stars
my soul is reaching out the moment I have stepped through looking glass
journeyed for a higher meaning just to find the truth
that one must die a thousand times to rise above its youth…

paint my heart in darkest colors
write my letters in the bloody rust,
messages to the one I held
to never read and never trust…
and if you must,
hunt the beast inside like demons waking from the past
kissing it would be the last,
so keep away,
it is the only road to gray and wise sitting on a porch in the suburbs
nursing cats and dogs and dreams…

and when you tell her silence is the cure
a girl in red seams life to ruins of a certainty that used to be,
I must confess those days are gone but not the memory
and adds each day a longing for the carnival I want to live…

Throwback to the days…

I start with the video for once. Since it’s the music that brought me in the mood to write tonight I might as well do it. Listening it made me wonder about long lost falling stars and made me need with fervor a good rock concert here in Paris. It’s been a long time now, with the pandemic and the confinement that I could not freely wonder on the streets, less hear some good bass somewhere. Isolation makes you think, in the beginning, than starts slowly but certainly get to you. Did I turn mad because of this virus killing people? No. Well no yet, but if we need to go back in our little cell I might as well go forever….

The need I’ve never had, to go into a pub a sip a beer or even better a good glass of red wine and listen to the noise, the music, the whirlwind of voices coming from people I don’t know and never will and maybe, just maybe someone I might get to know. Let’s be honest here: life is not made for staying put but for wandering in the society, feeling the living, the sap of the movement, the fever, the brutality, the excitement… you get the idea. All work and no fun makes Jack a dull boy. Because, again, for how long can you decorate your one-room awfully expensive Parisian apartment? There is quite a limited number of items you can replace: garbage can, flower pot, light bulbs – there is a few of them, wine glasses, champagne glasses, get some glasses for doing shots. There is an alcoholic themed buyers guide out there somewhere because frankly I’ve never had so many different sets of glasses and types of 18+ beverages in that big kitchen drawer next to the window. And the view from the 26th floor gets even better after a couple of Tequila shots, right?

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Armistice (II)

Sixty years it took for glory
walked past and jumped the queue
like craving sold by drugsters
love burns but you never do…

***

coffee no sugar and Billie Holiday for this cold little heart
“when you’re smiling, the whole world smiles with you…”
baked pumpkin from last night and salty seeds,
I wander still
will you sing Hallelujah?
or let my wishing lean…

***

“On The Road” today
ran from Denver east back home,
the story tells

***

Happy anniversary!
(…)
N.B. Don’t forget, the cake

Sfârșitul

Sfârșitul e aproape
coloanele se înclină peste ceruri
umbra ta dispare în soarele ce naște
pașii în nisip sunt gânduri puse-n ghips
ochii se închid –
mătase se revarsă prin jaluzele trase
ape izvorăsc din piatră
orașul se transformă în stihie fără dogmă,
îngenuncheați primim chemare
rădăcini de sare celor spovediți în Mare
degetele rupte
mere de alamă
Edenul este o cursă cu suflete de sticlă
trandafiri din plastic
toamnă de pe pânze,
ceara ta fierbinte curge peste buze
fiecare carte răpește o himeră
cuvintele șuvoi,
ia-le înapoi,
eu doresc lumină –
sfârșitul e aproape
șoaptele sunt coapte
plouă peste trupuri cu baionete roase
din inimi nemișcate macii se înalță
dar orele, orele sunt moarte…

Setea

Camille Pissarro – June Morning, View over the Hills over Pontoise

Am pictat la așternut de seară
condurii tăi cu talpa măslinie și luna presărată în geam,
în linii uniforme am unduit o apă
să zăbovesc în brațele-i doar nuferi-gânduri
și torțe roșii într-un lan din veșnicie…

Plouă peste oază și stoluri curg în mare
nimicul se adună și e o sete care doare
când din țărână crește iarbă și din iarbă nasc stejarii
durează-mi Mare temelii din stânci cu tâmpla albă
și-mi sculptează tu Iubito sufletul din sare…

Vino-n vis cu mine în noaptea cea mai lungă
să răsărim necunoscuți în calea de pe urmă
să-ți scriu ochii în poezii și piept în florile de viță;
oare mai răsfoiești tu stele aprinse peste zare
și insule din zile cu misterul șoaptă temătoare?

Portretul lui Alice

Noapte
frunze mov pe aleea de pe marginea lacului
mână caldă, degete reci
ochi felinare – privesc și le iubesc fără să văd
brațele ramuri, picioare stinghii vopsite mov
dragostea odihnește în mine aripi ce bat înspre cer…

o chemă încă Alice
un nume ce-l purta fără să știe înainte să o cunosc
în lumea din oglindă,
ca o neliniște pe valuri ce izvorăsc între stele
trăiește în întrebare, temătoare
vâslind, vâslind, vâslind
viață, între bulgări de soare –

și-a pierdut chipul
roșu ca o inimă, într-un câmp cu maci
sorbind portocale fierbinți sâmbătă seara;
Alice, lași urme de pași pe dale
Alice, lași urme
Alice!

îți creionez sufletul
în Marea din spatele pleoapelor
unesc zenit cu nadir și între ele conturez o lume
te răpesc pentru mine
nemuritoare în clipă ca o apă care curge
tânără tu, tânăr eu
vise-gânduri sculptate de timp…

Ben

Did I ever tell you about Ben,
tall guy I once knew
a good friend
someone I’ve never really talked to,
like you,
a wonderful guy
of the sorts that fall from the sky,
he played the violin
those days he needn’t take an aspirin,
for he was hot,
he was hot…

did I ever tell you about Ben
or the song I wrote for you,
in my desert
it was a jewel
in a world that is cruel
the notes got stuck,
so perfect
could make The Giants bow,
he never did hear
the ear it was deaf
to the words that he lacked…

I remember Ben
for the stars he could not see
the rhythms not understood,
he played the violin
I was drawn to The Sea
a wave of you
over a wave of me,
coffee in a cup for tea…
one time only I’ve asked
if beyond the stars
he taught there was life,
but he never looked back
stayed in bed
white lilies under his head
and walked away forever…

so did I ever tell you
Ben came from above,
a night in the Castle Park
looking for a purple star
he made his way through,
to you…
the very last touch
a rosebud for a birthday,
left me a journal
in a language amiss,
not in the sentence
but the way I should have kissed…

but Ben was wrong –

Green Eyes

Oh I need eyes to see
beauty that was put in me
for I am blind
to the passing and the time,
this heavy heart needs rest
from sunflowers feeding off my chest
and I need to grow
vineyards in my desert soil
on the paths I traced for finding me;
and they are green,
like musky valleys in between
mountains shaking when you scream,
and I need those eyes to see
through colors fading next to me,
the face of the unknown
voices speaking backwards
when there’s no one there to be,
close your eyes
and look and love with me
there is always this to see,
the sunshine,
and the oath you took with me…

Friday in the Sun

Waking up a sunny Friday
last December on the last day
I drank coffee followed by red wine from a better time
and the hundred dreaming songs of dancing summer
put them on one by the other,
feeling small before you grow
no one shows you what is right nor they tell you what is wrong
and the shapes you learn to draw kissing edges on the floor,
was a painter dressed in coal
up until you brushed my soul…

Walking on a sunny Friday
from late morning to November
I built castles in the sand where to kiss and hold your hand
but we’ve never burned enough to turn dust to shining glass
and the ocean came upfront
washing out the fairy gold,
in the daylight magic paled being lost in the glitter’s mighty cost
and the stars we watched together never shone on heavy weather
only music did remain
lighting torches in the rain…

Wandering on roads this Friday
couldn’t pull into a driveway
the stone giant with a heart needs a spark to gain the light
but there’s nothing to be found on the bearing that he’s bound,
reading books with empty pages
didn’t teach to see the braces
and the walls he raised around from the surface to the Sun
took him more than just his time spent on hopes and silver line
and the question being asked
lost its purpose in the vast…

Old cotton

“We all imagined his hesitant, stammering manner
Merely concealed his heart’s strong core,
But he had his misery, his hesitant stammering manner
And nothing more”
– Mary Megan Scorato’s poem for Dr. White
Mount Misery by Samuel Shem

***

Old cotton in my coat just married with new leather
I wonder if eleven years will bring at least another seven
and if I pray to Jesus and the saints and Holy Mary
my heart may come to life and fall in love with Jenny…

The coat I bought in Central Store I never sewed a patch
it’s like that constant feeling you have known but rarely had,
I did not see at first nor did I really want, it got imposed
but soon I fell for good, so down that no one understood…

Old cotton tainted brown it lived and traveled all around
the stories bound to tell are more than I could spell
had I for each a nickel my words would touch not tickle
and the image that it sells makes the good girls slowly melt…

Cotton coat with dark-brown leather suites me like a feather
like the letters that I wrote when bouncing off the heavens
and the late night promises while holding hands together
it turns me into a gentleman, a fellow with good manners…

But when I put on my leather coat everything turns dark
in the cotton dreams that follow I’m a giant built from sparks
I crush and burn and love the thousand miles of road ahead
and nothing’s going to stop me from blowing up your bed…