Life in Paris

When I’ve opened the only window of my studio flat this morning and took in the astonishing view over Paris that the height of a 26th floor can provide I suddenly felt free again. Rays of the end of May sun were washing the gray cement surface of the twin tower in front of me and stumbling down to the square blocks that cover the narrow alleys and the openings that often turn into playground for an army of children coming from from smaller or larger apartments all around. The noise of the street to the left is distorted and than amplified into a low constant humming as proof that life still exists and isolation is nothing but self-imposed. The gray takes me to La Defense, years ago, when I first visited Paris and everything was a mystery asking to be solved and each step was another adventure. The warmth of the sun did not change much, nor its shining or the deep blue of the Parisian sky.

I sipped again the hot dark-brown essence that I love preparing every morning using my very own espresso machine and a grinder for the coffee beans that I find in obscure little shops. I used to add sugar but later on exchanged it for rich milk fat in an attempt of living healthier. It is a ritual that brings joy and a few moments of so much needed tranquility before taking off into the tumult of the never-ending hospital work. Today however is Saturday and I am not on call, and Monday is a national holiday in France, and seen from the little window of my 26th floor studio flat, life is once again beautiful and I can feel the calling of the yet to be explored Parisian streets slowly pouring into every part of me. I almost have the impression that the COVID-19 pandemic never existed in the first place.

….

I once got to know a girl

I once got to know a girl
I gave her flowers
I gave her words
but most of all I gave her songs and listened to them all,
it made me fall the high rock hill
danced this dream along,
she followed for a while
gone the wind and gone her springs
I loved her on the wire…

I once got to know a girl
her eyes were forged in fire,
fed her pages from the book to build up on desire
never told me what she took
purple heart was old and tired,
on the road the star went higher
shone me to the west…

I once got to know a girl never to forget
beat the rhythm in this cellar
something must’ve changed,
got to know that girl or so I’ve felt…

Five for May

1. Wolf Alice – No Hard Feelings

2. Greta Van Fleet – Heat Above

3. Grouplove – Oxygen Swimming

4. Transviolet – Drugs in California

5. Mothica – FUNHOUSE

BONUS : Five Finger Death Punch – Darkness Settles In

Life after you

I find it hard to follow
it’s hard not to believe
you are not the sunny mornings
the sun is more a cerebral imprint,
is this a hint?
made me be a giant
a bear to hug if cold outside
and
I
still love you…
why can’t you believe
roses in the garden
oaks that drain into the sea
sometimes I will wonder
what is you and me,
a game we played so well
promises to void
feelings that rebel
dancing in the evening
who am I to tell…

I loved you for an evening
a way to ring the bell
colors fading
what else is there to spell,
my heart belongs to nothing
to something I have felt
and flowers in the morning
kissing under stars
I had you for a while
my lips to spell your name,
missing
the painting of a mile
and greatness comes along
to play
the odor in your smile
made me live again…

The Hat

Invaders walking in my house
their armies stepping forward fighting with a butter knife
and one by one I’ll put them down,
they ask me for a number
and all I do is close another door
in a memory that’s deeper than before,
bringing out the silence I don’t feel a hero anymore
the half moon in my hand is a killer
but my soul starts to forget,
sitting at the longest table I get only half-full plates
familiar faces roaming make a party I don’t get
blonde hair turned to fire just a glance before it sat
while getting drunk on coffee I do wear the hat,
but mornings in the sky are certainly the worst
dreams are left to die before they find a place to nest
and little things is what I have
when the wild hearts go to rest…

Mr Wong and Miss Wright

I got shot in the dark
with the gun I used to break their hearts
shattered in a million pieces all I’ve left is broken wishes
missing form the greatest puzzle
the wrong answers to the right questions,
they will paint my face on the bigger picture
tell me stop
ask me be better
held on to the feelings my chest could not gather,
I have seen you naked but my skin was covered
taking in the space between us, the whole grew larger
nothing more to share but attaching distance
you call the rains but the soil is poison
and I want to grow and seed a forest, larger than the world…

Beautiful borders that we forgot to seal
turned from yellow flowers to red brick walls
and the song I used to play never called you anyway,
I gave her a name and she marked it down in stone
it did not change it did not even glow
acting in a story that we somehow stole
the rhyme is off
the tempo is cold
and I am freezing when we should be burning slow,
the nights are longer with the steps we take
what there is to do when there is nothing left to say
my heart belongs to me in the most profound of ways,
if this won’t kill us it is not a passage of any kind
for I can not see the future yet I am far from blind…

I am drinking red wine that turned into blood
metallic with a taste to cut out your tongue
it feels like the days I spelled your eyes wrong
and you gave me water that washed our souls,
Miss Wright is out of control
Mister Wong is ever so bold
tell me to stop
ask me be better
nothing left to do before I write this letter
something must change or it’s hog-killing weather
I can not go the same to the end of summer
it is in my bones that I seek an honest meaning
and if you ever try again tell me so I can take cover
love is a curse but it must not be made harder…

Seven nation

White shirts, pink shirts, blue shirts, neat shirts
derbies and the black pressed underpants
shave that beard and loose the longhair
cut on bubbles after hours, have martini
mother wants you home by ten
is this what you’ve meant?
waking up at seven, going in at eight
cigarette at midday splitting up the day
working in an office posing as a clerk
serving for the country in the kindest way
communism negation in a socialistic nation
is this what you’ve meant?
is this what you’ve meant?

got a girl that’s dressed in leather
watches Oprah, thinks she’s clever
at the shop she cleaned a headgear
feeds the beaver, pushed a lever
she looks stunning like a badger
is this what you’ve meant?
like a chef she cooks a rabbit
that looked dead before you had it
goes to church one year in seven
wants some kids but cats are glaring
and the bourbon says she’s had it
is this what you’ve meant?
is this what you’ve meant?

having taught you scored a shiny diamond
you have gained blue painted marbles
growing heavier by the hour, you’re in pain…
friends you’ve left in ivy leagues knew better
worthy is the patience to inherit and not gather
is this what you’ve meant?
nation ranked eleven on a scale from one to heaven
perfection by the books based on telling how they look
down to earth the greatest fear is to see but not to hear,
honeybees are used to follow even when the queen is hollow
colored yellow, scented sweet, break your back…
is this what you’ve meant?
is this what you’ve meant?

is this what you’ve meant?
is this what you’ve meant?
break that glass…
is this what you’ve meant?
shove it up that ass…
is this what you’ve meant?

now is that what you’ve meant?

March, The Five

1. Birdy – Surrender


2. Bon Jovi – Story of Love


3. Manchester Orchestra – Bed Head


4. Foo Fighters – No Son Of Mine


5. The Weeknd – Save Your Tears


Good Times BONUS
: Coldplay – Paradise